After the Holidays

I always feel so relieved after Christmas. I like seeing my family, but not all at once, not with presents, and not after too much wine. Drinking your way through the holidays only makes things easier on you in the short term--later you have to deal with all the dumb shit you said when you were pouring everyone's water!

I am just really enjoying the time off. I cleaned my little house and today my new bed was delivered. For the first time ever, I will sleep on something other people didn't spend 20 years sleeping on first!



Another good thing is that I got my digital camera! I am still figuring out how to use it properly, but just having it around is so much fun. I'm running around like a typical new camera owner trying to take really artistic photos in hopes that I can quit my day job and become some digital print artist. At least I am having fun and hopefully some of the more important times in my life will be documented finally...especially my trip to Oahu!!!! That's something to look forward to!

DEAR GOD OF SNOW:
I am still here. Haven't written in ages. Awaiting the digital camera that will inspire me to write more often.

We've gotten some beautiful snow lately and all I want to do is take a photo and post just the snow to my blog. The picture of snow is all I need to say.

It started coming down in dusty flakes just getting pushed around the sky. More white, more falling fatter flakes that just kept coming down down down. I looked out a second story window towards the sky and all I could see was snow flakes flying at the window like stars in space flight. The sun can't shine through miles of cloud cover. Vitamin D can't permeate our winter comforter.

The sun broke through for an hour two days ago. One third grader shouted, "It's summer!" and everyone in the class got really excited. Sun is so rare here that these poor souls thought the seasons had actually changed.

I am beginning my snow ritual...a NorEaster is coming our way this weekend and we need to concentrate on making the perfect storm.

Dear God,
Let it snow late Sunday night so suddenly and with so much force that the department of transportation gets snowed into their garages. Let everyone panic. Let there be a state of emergency declared and roads shut down--salt supplies depleted, cars buried. Let me don my cross country skis and spend my Monday playing in the snow instead of sitting at work. This might seem like a selfish prayer, oh Lord, but saving the world from a cranky reading teacher benefits us all.
Sincerely,
Angela

what a difference a year makes

while i can't tell you exactly what i was doing at this exact time last year, i can say with utmost sincerity that i was miserable. see, this time last year was the week after i broke up with the only guy i ever truly loved after a long string of miscommunications led to some untoward activity and we made a clean break. and i was miserable for weeks. then upset for a month or more longer. then just mildly unhappy for a while longer. it took me awhile to come out of this funk, but out of it i came, with the help of many of my friends.

i'll spare you the details but suffice it to say, it took me a good long time to find my happiness again. but when i did, a whole new world opened up and i was finally able to enjoy who i was again. what a feeling to be content with myself and comfortable with being single.

and then, after all that, i got back together again with the aforementioned man of my life. and i have truly never been happier. i've learned how to be happy on my own, take that happiness and create something even better and bigger.

so technically, i guess i really shouldn't be allowed to post on this single girl blog. because of the obvious fact that i'm not really single. but i am in a long-distance relationship, which is about the closest one can be to single and still be with someone. i still spend the majority of my time alone or with friends or with my cat. such is the life of the pseudo-single girl.

I'm a Mister

That's a mom and a sister combined. Booyah. I'm here with my little brother, watching over him, feeding him wholesome meals, renting R rated movies, teaching how to drive, and just spending some time with him while my parents are on a trip. Now I actually have real responsibilities other than reminding my boyfriend to eat. I have to pick up lil bro from school, make sure he has lunch money, make sure he did his homework, and take care of the household. I don't like responsibility I didn't get myself into. But this is a favor to my parents, so I'll survive. It's farther from my boyfriend, farther from my girlfriends, and farther from ultimate. But I have a big backyard, real cable, lots of food, and Buff the cat.

I'm really excited that this blog is now a group venture. It's way more exciting to read other people's writing--thank you guys.

No man, No puppy.

All I have is a fish with a deformed tail. Most days I expect to see him dead when I get home. I can feel it coming because I haven't changed his water in fear that I'll get fish tuberculoses.

But it's fine. I don't need anyone right now. I'm not even in the mood to have a crush. I am in an emotional lull.

When I get like this, I look for ways to make a big change. New job, or a new city. Because I start thinking that the only way I'll get out of the lull is to change my everyday surroundings. So I got a new job--now that I haven't got a boyfriend, what was I going to do with all that time anyway? Plus, I don't really want to work my M-F job forever, it's not the greatest. And maybe this will get my foot in the door doing something I love. And when I'm doing something I love, then I can be happy and many men will fall madly in love with me. Eaaaasy.

I could just be looking to avoid my problems by distracting myself. And I'm a little nervous about working weekends because my weekends are my livelihood. I may end up depressed and lonely because all my friends have gone away for the weekend on a kickass trip, and I'm stuck in Rochester. So the plan could backfire. But I will suck it up! Or I'll just have to make another change.

There's always grad school!

because angela failed....

but she only really failed at being single. not at being witty. in her defense her lanky man friend who has no idea what email is, (believe it or not) is worth the loss of the "life of a single girl" blog.

this is where becca and i come in. with the (semi recent) demise of our last relationships, we are now qualified to write about the exciting and adventure filled life of the twenty something single girl in rochester, ny! So here we are, or at least here I am. but now what do i write.....

how about this... an admission.

perhaps i am not completely qualified to write on this blog since i have recently discovered the love of my life. and here she is. penny lane. my constant companion and the biggest contributer to mess in my apartment (ok thats a lie. but lets go with it). she poops on the floor and leaves her toys everywhere and cries when i am not paying attention to her. she chews on the couch and jumps in the shower everytime im in there unless i lock her out (in which case she knocks on the door)

but dude. dont kid yourself. there are very few living things that are cooler than my dog. she is psyched every single time i come home. she chases balls across the room and slides across the wood floors. she runs crazy loops in the back yard. she wrestles me on the couch and barks at her own image in the mirror. she can find a sock anywhere and open bags with zippers. she does cute tricks and throws herself wildly at me in exciting sometimes. she cracks me up every single day and snuggles with me every evening. laughs and snuggles. who needs anything more?

so maybe i can keep this adventures of a single girl blog going for longer than ang did. because honestly. do i really need more than that? it would have to be someone pretty impressive....

and of course. he'd have to adore my dog. penny lane is in my ears and in my eyes.

I get by with a little help from my friends....

I've been having trouble writing lately because I don't have any focus or purpose for this blog. It's not the single girl blog anymore. It's not a little journal. What the hell is this?

I think I would like this to be a place for me and a couple friends to write. Like........
~A writing anything place
~An expose this issue place
~ A theoretical place
~ A love place
~A life place
~A dog place
~A cat place
~ A work place
~A sports place
~A men in our lives place
~A health and beauty place
~A cussing place
~A happy place (of course)


Sound good?

Back from adventures....

COLORADO
Missed the connection from Atlanta to Denver
"The Raging Nile" arrived ten drinks into his night to pick us up in his Audi
Lots of men with collars, linen pants, girls in dresses and heels
We're ripe off the plane
One Long Island iced tea and three SoCo and lime shots later
We're feeling fine and walking even finer
Friday night spent with Chino
Back to the airport
Arrive in Boulder at noon on Saturday only to be amazed by the views, the altitude, and the heat
Win the last two games, swelter some more
Party at Boulder Brewing, dance, sing, drink, eat
Win all day Sunday
Finals in the bowl
People dressed as hot dogs and Elmo
Streakers
We yanks win
Sunday night in Vail as we prepare for our first Rockies outing
Monday morning drive to Leadville, around Turquoise lake, and up mountains
Three more miles of walking and we find our luxury cabin on the peak
So many smiles, so many great views, even a thunderstorm to finish off Monday night
Tuesday morning at 5 am we wake and prepare in the dark
Set off at 6 am with the sun
Weakness, migrane, fatigue, nausea as the altitude sickness sets in
Hiking for hours, trying to dismiss my illness
Greeted by marmots along our way as we slowly chip away our climb
Mount Massive: The Summit
Jagged peaks for miles and miles
Peaceful mountain lakes reflect the clouds
A dark storm slides along distant peaks
We won
And we inhale again for the hike home
Only six more hours to push through
Fantasies of reaching the cabin, of being home, of seeing someone we miss
Five days can change you
for the better.

Summer Achievements

I hate it when people ask me what I did this summer and I can't remember a god damn thing I did. Not at all. Nothing. I met my five reading teacher co-workers for lunch this week and they asked me what I've been up to. I had nothing to tell them. So maybe if I make a list of my "summer achievements", I won't forget everything I did.

--Mason Lake camping
--Snowy Mountain hike in Adirondacks
--Ommegang Tournament (camping, dam building, beer, bands)
--July 4th Firecracker Five Mile (my first road race)
--MARS tournament near Pittsburgh (three days of camping, beer, and a charango)

And coming soon...BOULDER!
I leave on Friday and will be back on Wednesday. So far, there will be ultimate for the weekend, and then a couple nights of hiking and hut camping afterwards. I still don't know what to pack, considering the weather is supposed to be really cold on the mountain. I heard HAIL. And SNOW. I may not be prepared for this undertaking. Dying on the mountain would be a good way to go, but still not as cool as being malled by a bear or struck by lighting.

Most impressive ways to die:
Bear/Mountain Lion/Walrus Attack
Lightning
Hypothermia in the Rocky Mountains
Plane Crash
Titanic

Lamest way to die:
Lint fire

Making New Friends

Meet New People!
Sounds easy enough, but I think this is one of the most difficult tasks for us twenty-somethings. We've got our usual crowds, our usual jobs, our usual friends, and nothing is going to change our perfect little worlds--except the fact that we're bored out of our minds with the same old, same old.

Artemis told me that instead of being brave and accepting offers to go do things with people she didn't really know yet, she would usually choose to do nothing and go nowhere with her usual buddies. It's a lot easier to stay in your comfort zone. It's WAY easier to just hide at home and watch TV. But the reality of the situation is that watching reruns almost never promotes a robust social life.

When I moved to a new city for graduate school, I didn't know anyone. Then I met this girl in class who lived a couple blocks from me. We didn't really know each other, but low and behold, she CALLED me later that week. Me. Someone she had just met. She asked me if I wanted to come over and have dinner with her and her roommates. Eureka! And then after that, I called her to go out one time. And each time we hung out, the more we knew each other. After only a matter of weeks, I considered her my........FRIEND. And I was hers. And I was also friends with her roommates and their friends. It just went on and on.

I thanked her one day for asking me to hang out and told her how it pretty much saved my life. And she looked at me with a 'you idiot' look on her face and said, "Well, that's how you make friends".

Deadlines

So, I've met a bunch of women who have utilized deadlines to make their lives more sane. I personally have set a date on when I can make this whole situation I've been experiencing a legitimate part of my life. My friend Artemis has told her muse that they will not be having sex until August 1st, at which time they will decide where their relationship is headed. Another friend, Matilda had to give her Turkish-Muslim boyfriend of six years a deadline to choose whether or not he wants to marry her, and thus, cause distress in his relationship with his parents forever.

I think when you're dating someone casually, and one of you is not really happy with the progress, setting a deadline is ideal. If you want something to go somewhere, you need to know when to say "stop" or "go". If you've set a date for this evaluation, you can feel confident in knowing that you gave yourself a certain number of weeks or months before coming to a conclusion. It also forces people to move away from that stagnant state of nothingness or to just jump ship completely.

Besides moving something forward, deadlines can also help you take your time. If you decided not to do something until a certain date, it allows to you experience a situation with control. You have space. You have sanity. For someone like me, who is continually a fool rushing in, this makes me feel like people have less grounds to judge me. And BY THE WAY, cut it out! I had no intention of these things happening, but by some weird fucked up trick of fate, it did. I thank whoever is in charge for making it happen, but now, people are not happy. Artemis said, "Hey, your single girl blog lasted a whole week. Good job". Artemis, meet you in the underworld. But if you need a scapegoat, I'm all yours.

Lesson 8

Lesson 8: Sleep is an eventual necessity for living.

I estimate that in the last six nights, I slept a total of 26 hours. Normally, I would demand at least 48 hours in six nights—but I gave up that fight last week. Throughout the previous nine months, in the best interest of my career, I always had to say, “I’ve gotta go to bed. I get up at 6:00am. No, sorry, I’ve got to work”. And now, I can say “YES! I will stay out late with you guys, I will drink on a week night, I will not go home so I can pack my lunch”. And it feels good. This is my reward for going to graduate school, working with an extremely challenging population, and agreeing to be underpaid for the rest of my career. The best part of this reward is that I experienced what it was like to get so over-tired my irises morphed into ellipses.

Luckily, after about six days of that, one must concede. I went to bed last night at 9:00 and I feel fabulous today. So fabulous, that I think I might stay out late tonight.

Lesson 7: Chance Occurrences

One of my favorite psychology professors from Geneseo gave me a piece of advice during my senior year of college while I was working as her teaching assistant. She recommended that you develop life goals and make plans, but not to the extent that you leave out room for chance occurrences.

This sounded unusual coming from a woman who was in a successful marriage, attended Stanford University and then completed her Ph. D. in experimental psychology at the University of Michigan, raised two daughters while teaching, and was continually writing text books (five to date?), three of which have gone through at least seven editions. Talk about being goal oriented. But I’ve found that what she said keeps coming into play in my life and every time it does, I think about her and how right she was.

My professor was referring to the idea that no matter how much planning we do, we have to realize that sometimes the best opportunities arise serendipitously, and we have to have the mental flexibility to just roll with it. Instead of thinking that you already know what you need and then barrel through life towards some idealized destination, maybe we should try to sit back, relax, and really open our eyes to the possibilities. Free of judgment, free of expectations, free of obsessive control.

And of course, as Mick Jagger and Keith Richards have been known to say:

You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes, well you might find
You get what you need
Oh yea-ay

A Survey

Semantics can be sexy!

Some of the manly men on our team were sitting around gossiping yesterday and it came to light that there is some confusion about verbs used to describe sex/foreplay--related acts. It seems that regional dialect and date of birth had a significant effect. Those born in the dark days of the 1970s used vastly different terms than the much more connected and technologically savvy 1980s babies.

The most profound differences were seen between groups that attended different universities. The U of R alumni could barely communicate with the RIT alumni. Observations indicated that crude hand signaling and bodily gestures were the only way these two groups managed to describe what happened last Saturday night. Ow ow! And once RIT figured out that U of R was saying "We hooked up", they still didn't know what happened.

Regardless of who you're speaking with, there are some major confusions about what someone means when they say "We hooked up" or "We made out". My feeling is that you say "I hooked up" when you really didn't have sex, but you want people to think there's a possibility that you did and you want to remain mysterious--but then of course, you could have had sex...nobody will ever know! I don't think "made out" EVER implies sex happened.

Just to be sure, let's refer to urbandictionary.com. These were the most popular definitions:

MAKE OUT
"the act of swapping spit with your significant other... or perhaps just some hottie you met at a party, but anyway, you just sit there sucking at each other's faces for an extended period of time and if you're lucky there might even be a little roaming around of the hands if ya get my drift :p"

HOOKING UP
"An incredibly ambiguous phrase that drives me absolutely insane when people use it."

Well, there you have it. What do you say?

Lesson 6

Lesson 6: Self-Confidence—Repeat after me, “I rock the hizzy”.

It’s an obvious essential element for women no matter what the aim. If you’re just interested in playing around, then it’s even more important because there’s a good chance other people just want to play with you too. This is the wrong time to rely on someone else for validation. Most (ok, who am I kidding—all) compliments are given because someone wants to get into your pants—not because some guy really thinks you’re “the most beautiful woman at this bar” (Oh, that one get’s me every time!)

But instead, if you already realize that you’re a successful, smart, beautiful, attractive woman who doesn’t need someone else’s approval to feel good—then you’ll be fine when something doesn’t work out. You’ll be fine when someone tells you they love you, but they’re not in love with. You’ll be fine when you have to shimmy under someone’s bed to retrieve your bra. You’ll be fine when you do the walk of shame down Park Ave. You’ll be just FINE.

Can you just wake up one day and be confident? My feeling is that you’ve got to develop it and you’ve got to really believe these things about yourself. And no, you’re not a pretentious bastard if you think you rock. Our society wants people to be self-deprecating AND confident. No wonder it takes so goddamn long to develop this sense of self. This is the first time in my entire life that I have been able to look at myself and say, “I’m fine”. So, I’ve given myself permission to play. But the minute I let someone else define me, game over.

Lesson 5

This is what happens when you ignore lesson #4:
I violated my own code so that others may learn from my blunders--not because I lost sight of the goal...not because I was under the influence...not because my brain stopped functioning. I did it ONLY so that my lessons would become validated in the eyes of my readers. I did this for you. (That was one big fat rationalization)

I made some poor choices last night which include a.) making out with Tall Boy 1 who only has a single degree of separation from myself b.) making out with Tall Boy 1 who also happens to be on my team (observe degrees of separation whithering away) c.) Drinking a little eensy weensy too much d.) causing an interpersonal rift between Tall Boy 1 and his house-mate/my teammate. Crap.

Instead of being an angelic ray of light and joy to others, I was more like a tsunami that destroyed a peaceful native fishing village. I feel guilty because I made the pursuit of make-outness a priority over a friend's feelings.

Lesson 5: Be ready to accept the consequences of ignoring the lessons. I guess all I can do now is face what happened and keep in mind that I didn't do anything out of malice. I really wasn't trying to hurt anyone, but now I've got to do some damage control. Talk with some people, try to get things on a better path. As Anne Taintor said, "Someone was going to have to set a bad example". And that I did.

Good Or Evil...With a New Purpose

Embrace your freedom
(without becoming a flipping whore).
This is the eternal quest of any woman who finds herself free of the eternal demands of a boyfriend/partner/husband/child/parasite. Labeled as a serial monogamist, I finally have found myself in a place where I am a.) 23 years old b.) single c.) not ready to settle down and d.) flaming hot. What to do? I have no experience in this field. I feel like I am in middle school again--curious about that cute boy, but waaaay to scared to talk to him. So as I find my way out of these woods, I will share my experiences with you. Hopefully we can all learn from my mistakes and laugh at the idiot things I do. I'm up for it.

The scene: Two weeks ago, out for an early drink with my friend, Jessa.
Jessa is my extremely forward thinking friend from Boulder, CO. She's 29, and a seasoned veteran of dating, being single, being engaged, breaking engagements, and finding the one she wants. I worship the ground she walks on. Her confidence is radiant. Jessa is my very first lesson.

Lesson 1: Find someone you admire and respect. Learn from them, emulate them. My relationship with Jessa led me to one of the most enlightening conversations I've had about casual dating. The advice she gave me that afternoon was, "Find someone HOT, there are so many HOT people out there. After I stopped dating so and so, I made out with lots of hot people."
Then I asked her, "Did you have sex with any of them?"
"No. Just make out."
Ok, sounds easy enough. And it was. That night, I went to a BBQ with some people from work and I got drunk and this Hot Boy got drunk, and we went back to his place and made out. Done and done. I had never done this before, but it was so easy. And my night with Hot Boy #1 leads me to...

Lesson 2: Don't have sex because then they'll have a lot of leverage and you'll feel used. I told him on the way home that sex was out of the question, and he said, "Fine". And that was that. I learned even more the morning after.

Lesson 3: Keep track of your shoes. Drunk people don't care where their purse, left shoe, or bra end up. You should, because when you're getting ready to leave, you don't want to have to search under the bed for these things. Just contain your personal belongings and you can make a smooth exit. I just said, "Hot Boy, I'm going to leave". We kissed, said goodbye, and I walked back to my house. Done and done.

After some reflection on the night, I tried to highlight why this situation worked out so beautifully. It was because certain factors were in place. Here is one of them.

Lesson 4: [Qualifications] Degrees of separation (DOS) between you and Hot Boy are ideally greater than or equal to 2, but less than 4. Examples:
Your best guy friend (DOS = 0 = Bad idea).
Your friend's best friend (DOS = 1 = bad idea still).
Your friend's friend from work- not YOUR work (DOS = 2 = approaching acceptability, especially if you're both tanked).
Some random person from a bar that you have never met in your life and for whom you've never completed a background check (DOS= infinite = poor decision even while under the influence).

SPUMMER

Finally, it is summer here.

Africa

I am addicted to Toto's song, "Africa". Rich showed me an amazing acoustic guitar arrangement of the song and all was well...until...Now, I play the song over and over. Had I been warned of it's effects, I would have been more cautious before listening. Only after my addiction to the song did I learn that Rich is compelled to listen to it at least once a day and that the song plays on repeat inside his neat little brain ALL DAY LONG. The good lord only knows how many other people are under the spell.

If you're curious, you can watch this cute little man named Andy McKee play his guitar here. The amazing thing is he can cover most of the instrumental and rhythm parts all on his own.

Sleeping Equipment

I've been researching sleeping bags for about six months and finally, finally decided I needed to buy this one. After every search and comparison I did, it always came out on top. I already have a good winter bag, but it's bulky and often too hot for use in the other three seasons.

So I set out on a search for something lightweight, synthetic (everytime I camp for ultimate tournaments, it pours...performance in wet conditions was a must), highly compressible, and rated for around 20-25 degrees.

And I found her. Welcome home, my new Kelty Light Year womens bag. The fact that you are bubble gum pink is what took me six months to come to terms with, but in the end, I realized how ROCKIN a pink sleeping bag was. You won me over and now, thanks to your zippered foot box, I can enjoy hours and hours of perfectly temperate sleep. You pack down and I can take you anywhere--and I assure you, I will.

http://kelty.com/kelty/index.cfm?cid=413&fuseaction=SleepingBags.ShowProduct&type=sleepingBag&ID=91

Climbing the Walls

Tonight I began my membership at the indoor rock wall place. I got the student rate, so i really hope they don't look into my matriculation status.

I went to the place without a partner (it's preferable to have someone to belay with you). I was really nervous that I'd be the only loner out there. But luckily, the staff introduced me to this really sinewy, lanky woman who looked like she began climbing as soon as she entered the birth canal. And she was soooo good, but really helpful. Turns out she has only been climbing for two months! Total shocker. Gives me hope that I could look like less of a fool within a reasonable amount of time. In all, I got a good workout, met some new people, and now have something to do in the evenings when I have to blow off steam.

All-nighter

I played in an 11pm-4am indoor ultimate tournament with a team from RIT. We really kicked some serious ass until the championship game where we proceeded to kick our own serious asses. We couldn't catch, throw, or even stay on our feet. We were literally falling down all over the field. Maybe that was because we had all been up for about 20 hours at that point and were suffering from dehydration. I had a really fun time BUT realized that I am not in shape. I cannot run for any extended period of time, I cannot sprint. I can sort of throw, but I have forgotten how to cut and how to fake hard.

This is all motivation for me to get into shape and get my act together before the Georgia tournament on March 17/18. I have 20 days to shed some weight and do something about this. That's enough time.


In other news, I am beginning to get cabin fever. I want to go outside in jeans and a t-shirt. I can't wait until I can walk around and play sports outside. I need more sunshine--my hair is dark and my skin is light. Just about four more weeks and things will begin to turn around. Weathering the long winter might be worth the feeling that each spring is happening for the first time.

My little buddy

OLD and BITTER

My grandmother is being a royal pain in the ass about her health. After her mastectomy, she went home from the hospital, received in home nurse visits for about a week and then kicked out the nurses. Then she went to live with my aunt and refused to listen to my aunt on extremely important issues. My aunt: "I think you're developing an infection" Grandma: "You don't know anything".

After being hospitalized for the infection, we convinced my grandmother to stay at a continuing care center for a week. She thought the food was so bad that she demanded to go home. I was at her house when she finally arrived today and I have never seen her more openly pissed in my life. Usually she has passive-aggressiveness down to an art form. Today, it was pure, unadulterated aggressiveness. You would have thought somebody tried to send her to a mental institution or something.

The part I don't understand is this: A month ago and a half ago, she had breast cancer and was going to die. Today, she doesn't have cancer and is doing relatively well--merely dealing with the results of major surgery. How can she be so miserable? Did she have a death wish? Maybe she has a death wish for all of us.

New Sports

On Friday, me and a few of my friends went over to an indoor rock climbing place. I had a great time. We learned how to belay and then pretty much went off on our own to climb. I kept trying to be cool...you know, look as if I really knew what I was doing. It was hard that night because there were only about fifteen people at the club and everyone except myself knew how to climb. IMPOSTOR! But hell, to the untrained eye, I looked fine. Not a lot of crying or pleading to god to help me get down.
I'm even considering a three month membership because the club is only a half mile from my house. I could go every night!--if only my arms would let me.

Latest music preference: Steely Dan. It's old and it reminds me of when my dad used to blare his music from the basement on Saturday mornings. He was cool to me then. And even cooler now.

Beginning again

So fresh and new. The first post in a brand spankin' new blog.

First and foremost, today is my and Rich's one year mark. He was very sweet and called me before work. He's a lover.

And now.......
My job, which consists of reasoning with and attempting to teach eight, nine, and ten year olds how to read everyday requires humor. The things that happen in a school could either drive you absolutely crazy, or they could make you laugh. I hope to remain in my very comfy cozy position, so I better start laughing.

Let's start with a story. I'll add stories as they come...
Yesterday, I was working with a group of kids in their classroom. My four students were busy working on reading and practicing a text with their partners. Then, to my surprise, the classroom teacher left the room with a group of about eight kids. Thus, I am left with about ten other kids just sitting in the room. I could see their skin stretching with the force of misbehavior just waiting under the surface to hatch and break free. Needless to say, I had to take on some managerial duties while their teacher was out of the room. I think I said something to the whole group like, "We need to make good choices while we are on the computers".
Apparently, one of the little girls in my group thought that I was sounding a little too authoritative. She asked me, "What are you, like a teacher now or something?" Ahhh, out of the mouth of babes. Meet "me" the teacher imposter extrordinaire.