Lesson 6

Lesson 6: Self-Confidence—Repeat after me, “I rock the hizzy”.

It’s an obvious essential element for women no matter what the aim. If you’re just interested in playing around, then it’s even more important because there’s a good chance other people just want to play with you too. This is the wrong time to rely on someone else for validation. Most (ok, who am I kidding—all) compliments are given because someone wants to get into your pants—not because some guy really thinks you’re “the most beautiful woman at this bar” (Oh, that one get’s me every time!)

But instead, if you already realize that you’re a successful, smart, beautiful, attractive woman who doesn’t need someone else’s approval to feel good—then you’ll be fine when something doesn’t work out. You’ll be fine when someone tells you they love you, but they’re not in love with. You’ll be fine when you have to shimmy under someone’s bed to retrieve your bra. You’ll be fine when you do the walk of shame down Park Ave. You’ll be just FINE.

Can you just wake up one day and be confident? My feeling is that you’ve got to develop it and you’ve got to really believe these things about yourself. And no, you’re not a pretentious bastard if you think you rock. Our society wants people to be self-deprecating AND confident. No wonder it takes so goddamn long to develop this sense of self. This is the first time in my entire life that I have been able to look at myself and say, “I’m fine”. So, I’ve given myself permission to play. But the minute I let someone else define me, game over.